It is April 2nd and it is snowing.
I walk to the subway to go to work and try to turn the mess of things I feel into words, into calm before I walk back into the hurricane.
The snow dusts my hair and I am lucky,
Winter hasn’t quite left yet and I breathe best when it’s cold.
I wonder when change comes in this whirlwind of white.
Spring is waiting and I wait for it.
The night is cold,
September arrived in wind and water.
I shiver, the gusts gathering at my feet.
I remember what I should know,
Even better now.
The body can withstand the burn, if you can learn to breathe in fire.
I watch the trees outside move in the breeze.
Their new blossoms flow lazy and smooth.
This month moves faster than I ever thought it could,
And for the first time I do not look into the mouth of that lion called change,
As May ushers itself in.
Life is long and short,
And springtime is here in all it’s glory before I’ve really bid winter goodbye.
I watch the very first blooms of bleeding hearts in the backyard sway in the wind.
They are me, beautiful in our imperfection.
How did it get so late.
The lights are burning on the fire escape.
A new day is wrapped in the soft darkness of the dawn.
My tree, my roots are moving lazy,
Matched to the winter whisper of snow.
It is so late for me to know I fear morning.
It has been a long winter.
The darkness comes in with the snow,
The window is numb to my touch,
My fingertips burn.
Tonight I look up,
The sky is cloudless and the sun setting in the west on the Hudson River takes my breath away.
It has been a long time since I have seen the sun set,
The days are getting longer and I know there is still a long road ahead.
There are daffodils at the florist.
Spring, is slowly finding its way here.