Day 30 – This Time Last Year

This Time Last Year

It is almost May again and I wonder if I’m doing better than I was this time last year,
Life is never that simple and I am never better because I say so,
I need to build my own umbrellas in the storms of my invisible rain.

At work we have “Mental Health Training” and I wonder why I need training when my life has been a crash course in anxieties, in mountains and valleys, so many I can’t count anymore,
Good days and bad days and all the in betweens.

I go every week to East Ninth Street to be honest with myself,
Put pen to paper and try to understand this thing I live with, every day.

I wonder if I’m doing better than I was this time last year.
This year, I am learning from last’s mistakes.
I am all right, and that is finally okay.

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Week 17 – I Could Write About the Rain

I Could Write About the Rain

I could write about the rain.

I could write about wet umbrellas,
About the keys in my coat pocket,
The puddles around the bean boots on my feet.

I could write about how for the first time in a long time, I am learning to trust my muscles.

I could write how I am learning, again, to swim.

Week 9 – This Too Shall Pass

This Too Shall Pass

This week I am a hurricane, a tempest, a storm,

The winds inside and the warmth of the oceans a death spiral, 

A battle nobody can win, tied to the arches of a temple, blinded and strong enough to consume. 

The rains come and fall on my broken heart, and I feel the willows of my veins sway and take the thunder. 

 

This too, shall pass.